Category Archives: Confidence

Uncomfortable Tights – A Leg Dilemma

Tights – A Leg Dilemma!

As someone who is keen to keep up with all things ‘modern’ there is one thing that I constantly have trouble with.  I endeavour to get on with tights but it is always an unsatisfactory experience.  I just find they make me feel so constricted and are too tight around the waist.  I’ve even resorted to cutting the waist band which looks a mess and doesn’t seem to make much difference to how I feel.  From expensive to cheap and everything in-between, I’ve tried them all.  Holdups are too risky and slip down my legs which is not a good look and the fear of them descending around my ankles at the most inappropriate moment is too much to contemplate.

As I love to wear longer skirts and dresses I do sometimes wear knee high socks (pop sox) but you do have to be careful that the tops don’t show as that doesn’t look good and is rather ugly.  Plus the band at the top which sits below the knee can get uncomfortably tight after wearing for a period of time.

Of course perfect legs on a warm or hot day are lovely bare with a bit of bronzer, moisturiser or oil but many of us don’t have perfect pins or feel confident to put them on show.  A sheer tight or stocking makes so much difference to cover blemishes, veins and age spots!

Uncomfortable tights
Everybody’s Magazine 1952

I have to admit I’m most happy in my old fashioned stockings (are they really old fashioned?) so they will continue to be my first choice.  Comfortable and secure to wear all day long, with my faithful suspender (garter) belts that have been with me for many a year.

Where am I going wrong and am I the only one experiencing this?  On the other hand there are benefits in not updating just because we think we ought to!

Any thoughts or comments would be gratefully received so please do let me know below.

Wishing you a Happy Easter

Tights or Stockings?
Daphne by Perou in Madonna Corset for Oxfam’s Big Bra Hunt Campaign

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True Confidence

True Confidence – Spring 2017 PIBE

“Let’s Play It By Ear” True Confidence
PIBE is a quarterly womenswear and menswear journal
focused on fashion, beauty and art.

Curious, optimistic and experienced, Daphne Selfe is the answer to your everyday inspiration.

True Confidence Ivakovos


Spanning sixty-seven years in the modelling industry, Daphne Selfe is a self-built wonder woman who has – and continues to – share her bright-eyed outlook. The supermodel, author and influencer has been photographed for various publications over the years making it to cover girl for CURVA, 125 and Drapers – to name a few. Daphne is the woman who aims to inspire people by imparting wisdom and life experience, and her story is the story of being “a happy, cheerful person” who is “always curious about the next adventure”.

True Confidence PIBE Iakovos

Raised from a strong background, Daphne oozes a certain tranquillity and humbleness that only adds to her beauty. Her head strong nature, she tells us, is a result of being “blessed with good parents, genes and a loving yet strict upbringing” and “I had to make the best of everything as I was brought up in the war and I had to ‘get on with it’”. With a lifetime of adventures already under the belt, Daphne travels and locks down exciting projects whilst still owning the runway – her most recent success being her book ‘The Way We Wore: A Life in Clothes’and many more projects to be revealed soon that are in the pipeline.

“I was just propelled into the fashion industry by circumstances”

Daphne’s modelling career kicked off when she was at the age of twenty-one as a result of winning a local magazine cover girl competition – post Second World War. Contrary to Daphne’s idea of beauty existing irrespective to physical attributes, she has excelled in the industry and is now rewarded the title of ‘The Oldest Supermodel in the World’ admitting “I was just propelled into the fashion industry by circumstances” she continues “It was my love of clothes and dressing up, and meeting lots of interesting people like artists and designers”.

Iakovos - PIBE True Confidence

“age in my case has been an advantage… Younger people seem to want to be like me when they grow old!”

With age just being a number, Daphne stands tall and proud, and continues to blossom as she takes the fashion industry by storm quipping “age in my case has been an advantage… Younger people seem to want to be like me when they grow old!”. The role-model promotes a sense of positive mental well-being and encourages her fans in various ways to regain confidence and maintain faith – that’s more than often lost. Her creed for keeping herself in check and balanced is by engaging in hobbies that stimulate calming effects such as gardening, painting, knitting, cooking and being around her friends.

In current society, there’s an obvious contrast to everyday life in comparison to the ‘60s with the presence of technology being so dominant. And Daphne, having lived through a war and existing pre-Facebook era, has seen both sides of the spectrum. In terms of Social media, we asked Daphne if the existence of platforms – say Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc – have been pivotal in reshaping our mind-sets and mental stability: “social media must shrink confidence in people” adding “as people do not communicate with each other enough now except through the internet”.

True Confidence Iakovos

PIBE:In tune with this issue’s theme ‘MENTALLY STRONG’, if you could define mentally strong in one word what would it be?

DAPHNE: Resilient.

Words / JESSIE PINK : Photographer / IAKAVOS : Stylist / SARA DUNN : Hair / MAKI TANAKA : Makeup / JO FROST

How resilient are you?  Does this word strike a chord with you?  How confident are you and would you say that you have true confidence? Do let me know in the comments below:-

My Model Family

My Model Family is growing around the world



The Daphne Selfe Model Family is growing around the world and I’d like you to meet two of my students:-

Introducing Natalie & Irene

I’m Natalie Collier – I’m 44 years old and live in Bunbury, Australia. Modelling is always something I’ve loved and wanted to do.  At the beginning of the course I didn’t have any confidence or posture. Or know anything about the modelling world. I am very happy with this course and I have really enjoyed  doing it. I am very excited I have got my confidence back and I can achieve something at my age and now I can follow my dreams to be a model.

My Model Family - Natalie Collier

I’m Irene, 62 years old and I live in Ohio, USA. This was a dream come true – the Daphne Selfe workshop (Academy) was so motivating and informative. I wanted to get training from a highly respected expert and I got way more than that! The challenging were motivating and kept me on point. I’m still pinching myself …was my dream come true!

My Model Family - Irene SB

Watch the video above to see modelling images of Natalie & Irene or click here

Want to be part of my model family?  I would so love to welcome you into my wonderful Model Family – I’m very proud of all my students.  Becoming a graduate of the Daphne Selfe Academy is all that is required!

You can find further testimonies here

I do hope you will be able to join me on my next course.

If you missed my Academy introduction email you can catch up here


Full Academy details are below:-

What exactly is the Daphne Selfe Academy?

The Daphne Selfe Academy is a 6 week course training you in everything you need to know about being a model and the modelling industry. This year’s school is starting on Monday 6th March 2017.

The training is released online in weekly sections to the private members area of the Daphne Selfe Academy at and you will get an email from me with the link details each week.

Every Monday a new module is released and you get to decide if you want to work through a little each day or dive in for a concentrated go – it’s up to you.

You will get written tutorials and work sheets – I call them ‘Model sheets’!  Including images, videos for your learning style and lifestyle. Plus the opportunity to ask me questions directly and receive personal feedback via video link, webinar or a telephone call if you prefer.

Each week is broken down into easy to follow segments like building blocks so that by the end you will be prepared mentally and physically for the modelling world.

You can go over and over it again as much as you like.

Daily Mail Fashion

This course is perfect if you:-

• Are struggling to get your career going and need a plan

• Need help putting the disciplines into place that you know about and learn the ones you don’t know about!

• Want to know everything about a model’s life

• Are after someone to trust and turn to that has a lifetime of wisdom behind them

• Look in the mirror and don’t like what you see

• Believe you can feel more beautiful and elegant

• Would like to surprise yourself and others with your ‘model side’

• Want the best guidance there is to make some changes for the better 

What will the course be covering each week?

Week 1 – We start off looking at the different types of modelling and what sort is going to be best for you. Then we analyse your own unique physical attributes and how to make the best of them and be more confident and aware of what makes you beautiful.

Week 2 – Here we start to get down to the nitty gritty of what it takes for a successful and long career in modelling. This module is about training you to have the posture, body, beauty regimes and diet necessary for the hard and rewarding work of modelling. Here I let you in on the routines, disciplines and tips I have picked up through my lifetime. All in a natural and healthy way of course – as I’m well known for!

Week 3 – This week is about looking at the character traits, skills and mental outlook that is important for a successful life as a professional model. For the areas we are going to cover I want to you to take a good look at yourself and assess where you are currently and where you can improve further to be the best you can be.

Week 4 – Being a model is a skill, a form of acting. It has been said that feelings and emotions come through from a lifetime of experience but it is also like a young person singing an emotional song well beyond their age or experience, you can learn to do it with practise – whatever your actual age, that’s just a number! But practise does mean it takes time to get it right and more importantly so that when you are nervous you just do it without even having to think. You’ll learn and then practise poses and facial expressions, how to work to a camera and walking the catwalk and more.

Week 5 – This week I let you in on how the industry works, how to approach and deal with agents, casting sessions and clients plus how to watch out and be alert for the not so nice side of the industry. Have you been scouted? Would you like to be? What do modelling agencies expect and want. What to do and importantly what not to do.

Week 6 – What are your dreams and goals – do they need to be rewritten or adjusted with all you have learnt in the previous 5 weeks?  We’ll make a plan to move forward and you will interact with me to go over any questions or areas that you would like to discuss from the course and in relation to a career for yourself. It is now that you can submit completed coursework (if you’re ready) to apply for your Daphne Selfe Academy Graduation Certificate.

Confidence Review

How much does it cost?

The price is GBP £995 or $1249 USD (other currencies are available)

What happens once I’ve made my payment?

Once you have clicked the link and made your payment you will receive an email welcoming you to Daphne’s Model Family.  You will also receive information regarding your access to the members area of the Daphne Selfe Academy.

Daphne Selfe professional modelling course


You can repeat the programme for free each year for as long as I and my daughter Claire run the course.  Graduates of the Daphne Selfe Academy will receive an invitation to join me in London for Afternoon Tea (at a famous stylish and elegant location of course!) There I will be delighted to meet you in person.  Some of you will not be able to attend as you are too far away but I do hope that I can meet you on my travels around the world.

Become part of my Model Family and belong – not just for 6 weeks but for as long as you want to be involved. The Daphne Family will grow and be a positive supportive place where you can without doubt #beyourownselfe

Daphne Selfe by John Swannell

 How did the Daphne Selfe Academy come about?

The Daphne Selfe Academy has come about as I spend more and more of my time helping people ‘get on’. For many years I have been happy to give my free time to work with fashion design students with the highlight being their graduation shows where I have modelled for them. I work with photographers starting out on their careers and even film makers.  Many have turned into my personal friends and I realise that I have a lot of experience and knowledge to pass on. It got me thinking about the models that I meet and work with who are starting out and who don’t know what to do and the frustrated photographers who repeatedly say “I wish everyone knew what you know!”

I have mature friends, even ones from show business who have shocked me when they have expressed how little inner confidence they have as they have got older!  People with fantastic figures and looks who need help to not ‘fade away’. I come across many people who with the right knowledge and training can attain a WOW factor and much improved confidence. “It seems such a waste of the gift of life to be needlessly worrying and holding yourself back so I began asking myself “How can I help?”  From this question together with Claire (I call her my Model Minder) I have put together the Daphne Selfe Academy #beyourownselfe”.

There is no course that suits everybody and this course may not be for you if:-

• You’re not willing to work hard and apply what you will learn

• You aren’t really interested in your appearance and how to be like a professional model – is someone pushing or persuading you against your own wishes?

• You’re expecting a modelling contract to be guaranteed on completion of the course

• Improvement is of no interest

The Daphne Selfe Academy – setting the standard

“Rather than just teach you cold facts I get you to think things through, observe yourself and others.  Practise practise practise – of course, you will have expected me to say that!  I want you to have a direct experience of what we are covering and how it is going to make a real difference in how you see yourself and others see you too”.

• Being a graduate of the Daphne Selfe Academy can only be an improvement for you, your life, your resume and your future dreams and plans

• No hard selling of expensive portfolios or other worrying things you may have heard of in the modelling world.

• A lot of good old tried and tested disciplines and attitudes all right up to date!

I’m so looking forward to you being part of my Model Family.

Enrolment will be open to secure your place this Saturday 25th February so do look out for my email on Saturday morning.

I shall be sending you an early bird gift if you have registered by Sunday night!

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to email me at:-



With many blessings




New Old

New Old – I’m An Art Installation!

I spent the afternoon as an “Art Installation” in a pop-up exhibition called New Old at the incredible new home of the Design Museum in London – High Street Kensington.

This special installation New Old by design and invention consultancy Special Projects was to explore the subject of enhancing the experience of our later lives and I was thrilled to be asked to take part.

People visiting the Design Museum New Old Exhibition were invited to ask me one question and I asked them a question in return.  It was really fascinating and I loved it.  I love meeting new people – friends I’ve never met!  My ‘Questioners’ ranged in age from a 9.5 year old dancer to an 86 years old gentleman in a bowler hat.  From students to engineers and a Japanese cookery school owner.

New Old Exhibition @rejinapyo

I was asked for advice about careers and finding direction in life to what made me so confident.  One rather gorgeous dance student got me reminiscing about Marie Rambert of the Ballet Rambert School who I trained with in my 20s.  When did I first fall in love?  At 17 working in a riding school I fell in love with the owners son (which I wrote about in my book).  To a young man wanting a career as a fashion designer who I encouraged to stick with his studies although he was finding things difficult with his tutors – stick through a difficult patch and keep your goal in sight.

@design museum @special_proj @wormlondon @rejinapyo

To the ‘what makes me so confident’ question I replied that I thought mine came from people helping me when I was very young.  Although it was wartime my parents were very supportive and get me up with great values and self-esteem.  I’m aware that not everyone has been so lucky in this area which is why I am keen to give back and help where I can – it is never too late to make changes for the better.

Old New

The Design Museum is the world’s leading museum devoted to contemporary design in every form from architecture and fashion to graphics, product and industrial design.  It is a very beautiful place but does anyone else have trouble in ultra modern buildings finding the doors or how to open them?

Design Museum New Old

Click or tap here for more about design and invention consultancy Special Projects

Confidence Course – my 4 week online self esteem building course to feel more confident and beautiful starts tomorrow.  There’s still time to find out about it and join in – click or tap here

What question would you have asked me if you’d been there?  Do let me know in the comments below:-

Confidence Plan

Confidence Plan

Thank you so much for your interest in my Confidence Course.  A lack of confidence or wanting more confidence is something I see and hear about all the time.  I feel that I know a lot about it after all my years of experience and the life I have been lucky to lead.  I come across a lot of people who aren’t as confident as they’d like to be and I know I can help.  So I’ve come up with a Confidence Plan!

This new course will be entirely focussed on building self-esteem and feeling more beautiful.  It will consist of things I know and have learnt over my long life in fashion. I’m going to cover various different areas and ways to improve your confidence including your posture, style, makeup, exercise, diet and more.

Although people are often asking me how to approach ageing, weight, hair, clothing and diet you may be asking what kind of transformation can I expect?  Did you see my Confidence Update where one of my students talks to my daughter Claire?  You can see it here if you missed it.  I believe that if you give attention to different areas of your life, many times in just small ways, these changes can lead to big differences and totally give you a new experience of yourself.

I have a vision of the world where we are all feeling and looking our best and are full of enthusiasm and energy.   I’d like to help and the best way to do that and fit in today’s world with our busy schedules is to do it online!

It is a 4 week online course starting on Monday 16th January and each week will have different areas to focus on and you can do in your own time and at your own pace.  Think of it like a journey (a Confidence Plan) where each thing leads on to the next.

The course is broken down into the following areas

Week One – Posture / Clothing / Style

Week Two – Skincare / Makeup / Hair

Week Three – Diet / Weight / Exercise

Week Four – Self-esteem / Ageing / New Horizons

The course will consist of my knowledge, solutions that work and suggested things to do and change or improve to achieve the results that you’d like and dream of.  We are all different and I want to help you be the best ‘you’ that you can be and make the best of your natural attributes inside and out.

I’m known for being natural and elegant and those are important things that define me so if you are planning plastic surgery, have no intention of trying to look after yourself in a healthy way or have no interest in how you present yourself this course won’t be for you.  I’m not saying these things are wrong, they just aren’t who I am and I not the best person to help.

You will receive regular emails and the link and password to the private area of my website to access the course material as we go through the 4 weeks.

The cost of the course is £297 and you can put your name on the list to get a chance to sign up to enrolment when it opens on Tuesday 10th January at 11am (London time).  I’m planning on closing enrolment on Sunday 15th January at 6pm (London time) or when it is full – so don’t delay to avoid disappointment.

Full details here

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to comment below or email:

Confidence Course List – sign up by clicking or tapping on the green link

I’m looking forward to getting started and hope you are too –  so until then….



Confidence Update

Confidence Update

Hello, Claire here Daphne’s daughter, I want to say a big thank you to those of you for the interest in Daphne’s coming Confidence Course – it really is quite overwhelming.  I do think Daphne is really on to something here for those of us who don’t want to be models but could do with a bit of model confidence – who better to go to than Daphne with her 80 plus years of style.

Daphne outlined in her last message how she wants to help with challenges and changes as we go through life.  People are often asking Daphne how to approach age, weight, hair, style, exercise and numerous other topics.  You may be asking what kind of transformation can I expect?  What better than to talk to one of Daphne’s students so I’m here at the Shetland Pony Club with Rosemary.

Here in Cupcake’s dream stable, Rosemary tell me how did you meet Daphne?

Well I met Daphne as she actually came to Shetland Pony Club my pony club.  She walked into the Ranch and she looked amazing.  I knew who she was immediately as she is very recognisable and I also knew that she loved ponies and we had a lovely day.  I was amazed at realising that she was in her eighties and how stylish she was.

Were you struggling with any aspects of how you were feeling about yourself at the time?

Well, yes I was, I’m in my fifties and working at the pony club I had rather stopped wearing makeup, which was a choice – I chose not to do that and then along came YouTube and we started doing a very successful weekly show where I actually had to talk to the cameras. When I started doing that I wasn’t very happy with how I looked. 

So you weren’t feeling particularly confident or feeling beautiful about yourself?

I was quite nervous, I’d been one of those media courses about how to talk to the media which unfortunately rather wrecked my confidence.  They told you to be more confident but not how to do it.

Sounds like they gave you the problem but not the solutions that you were after?

Yes, I came out of it feeling that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to host a YouTube show.


What particularly did you feel you got the most out of the course (Daphne’s Confidence Course)?

Well I really enjoyed the course and Daphne helps you look at the good points that you do have.  We all have points that we like and points that we don’t and I was interested to hear that actually Daphne has somethings that she doesn’t like about her body.  I had crooked teeth as a result of an accident and I thought I’d like to get them fixed (as a result of doing the course) and in fact when I went to the dentist he fixed them really quickly and without any great expense which boosted my confidence.  Then I thought I could try wearing a bit more make-up and I looked at the more modern colours that are out there – I enjoyed doing that.

Confidence Update with Daphne
Rosemary before and after doing the Confidence Course with Daphne

Well certainly looking at your YouTube channel and looking at you now you look very confident and beautiful so would you say that some of that has come from being a student of Daphne?

Yes, definitely,  I went through my wardrobe and picked out the clothes that I really like and English country clothes are really nice with the tweeds and things and although I don’t have very many of them the ones I’ve got are nice quality and I thought, do you know what, just wear them a bit more.

So you do feel good when you get up in the morning and you might have very little time to spend would you say that you feel good about what you choose to put on and how you go out into the world?

Yes, I do and as it is a weekly YouTube show we are under pressure to come up with a film every week so you have to be ready to go when the cameras roll.  But I think it is not just the fact that this is part of my work everybody nowadays is photographed a lot more than we used to be – Instagram, Facebook, so I think that paying attention to how you look is something that affects everybody and of course we all get older and Daphne has been stylish all her life so she is very inspiring.

How did you find the course being online?

You know, that was good for me.  I’m really busy and it meant that I could do it in my own time and in the privacy of my own home.  I didn’t have to rush anywhere to get to a meeting or class.  I could just do it online and I loved that – it was really good.

My last question is:-  I’m told that some of the ponies, I’m not sure if Cupcake is one, have hair extensions. Is this true?

Yes, it is true, it’s not just people and models that have hair extensions.  If they are doing fashion shoots and the ponies do do fashion photo shoots sometimes they need more hair – but you don’t Cupcake do you, you don’t need more hair!  

Well thank you very much Cupcake for letting us film in your stable and please look out for the next update from Daphne.

The next update will be out by Sunday, 8th January and will be covering all the course details.  Including the course dates and the topics and subjects covered and the cost and payment details – don’t miss out and if you haven’t signed up for the Confidence Course mailing list yet you can do that here:- Confidence Course List

Lastly, what is your biggest confidence challenge? Do let me know in the comments below:-

Confidence Update with Daphne Selfe
Rosemary at the Shetland Pony Club

Confidence Review

The start of a new year is a great place for a review – a confidence review: –

Are you happy with how you feel, look and are approaching this stage of your life?

How is your wardrobe, make-up, hair, confidence and self-esteem?

Do you want this New Year to be the one where you are happy with your age, weight, appearance, mood and impact on others?

Is this the time for that new job, partner, hobby or adventure and you don’t want to hold yourself back any longer?

How much more energy and confidence would you have if you were really comfortable in your own skin expressing your own uniqueness and style?

Confidence Review
The Book campaign for Kaodachi by photographer Rainer Hosch


I understand that change is uncomfortable and it is much easier to stick to familiar old habits.  Taking on new ways of being can be very worthwhile and transformative.  With years in front of the camera and on the catwalk along with a lifetime love of fashion and style I can help with the where, how and what!

Building confidence from action starting right now I want you wherever you are are to sit or stand a bit taller.  Stretch up your spine out of your hips and pull your shoulders back and breath.  Doesn’t that feel good?  Are you ready to create dreams and goals and face new challenges with more confidence already!

Standing taller with better posture not only makes you feel more confident it will make you less invisible (no more invisibility thank you – you’re too precious for that!)  Test out this new posture when you walk across your place of work/study or down the street.  Notice not only how it feels to you but how others respond to you.   Any type of clothing looks better too – I know, I’ve modelled a rubbish bag before!

Can you keep this new posture up?  How long before you lapse back to a familiar, less than ideal one – is the invisibility cloak back on?

Let me help – Look out for my next Daphne News on Thursday 5th January where I will have an example of what’s possible and more on Confidence with Daphne!

PS How happy are you on film?  Social media is all the rage – don’t get left behind.

PPS Don’t assume the best days of your life are behind you (I’m 88 so I know).

Lastly, what is your biggest confidence challenge?  Do let me know in the comments below and you can put your name down on my Confidence list here to get further information first.

Next: Confidence Update