As someone who is keen to keep up with all things ‘modern’ there is one thing that I constantly have trouble with. I endeavour to get on with tights but it is always an unsatisfactory experience. I just find they make me feel so constricted and are too tight around the waist. I’ve even resorted to cutting the waist band which looks a mess and doesn’t seem to make much difference to how I feel. From expensive to cheap and everything in-between, I’ve tried them all. Holdups are too risky and slip down my legs which is not a good look and the fear of them descending around my ankles at the most inappropriate moment is too much to contemplate.
As I love to wear longer skirts and dresses I do sometimes wear knee high socks (pop sox) but you do have to be careful that the tops don’t show as that doesn’t look good and is rather ugly. Plus the band at the top which sits below the knee can get uncomfortably tight after wearing for a period of time.
Of course perfect legs on a warm or hot day are lovely bare with a bit of bronzer, moisturiser or oil but many of us don’t have perfect pins or feel confident to put them on show. A sheer tight or stocking makes so much difference to cover blemishes, veins and age spots!
I have to admit I’m most happy in my old fashioned stockings (are they really old fashioned?) so they will continue to be my first choice. Comfortable and secure to wear all day long, with my faithful suspender (garter) belts that have been with me for many a year.
Where am I going wrong and am I the only one experiencing this? On the other hand there are benefits in not updating just because we think we ought to!
Any thoughts or comments would be gratefully received so please do let me know below.
Wishing you a Happy Easter
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“Let’s Play It By Ear” True Confidence
PIBE is a quarterly womenswear and menswear journal
focused on fashion, beauty and art.
Curious, optimistic and experienced, Daphne Selfe is the answer to your everyday inspiration.
Spanning sixty-seven years in the modelling industry, Daphne Selfe is a self-built wonder woman who has – and continues to – share her bright-eyed outlook. The supermodel, author and influencer has been photographed for various publications over the years making it to cover girl for CURVA, 125 and Drapers – to name a few. Daphne is the woman who aims to inspire people by imparting wisdom and life experience, and her story is the story of being “a happy, cheerful person” who is “always curious about the next adventure”.
Raised from a strong background, Daphne oozes a certain tranquillity and humbleness that only adds to her beauty. Her head strong nature, she tells us, is a result of being “blessed with good parents, genes and a loving yet strict upbringing” and “I had to make the best of everything as I was brought up in the war and I had to ‘get on with it’”. With a lifetime of adventures already under the belt, Daphne travels and locks down exciting projects whilst still owning the runway – her most recent success being her book ‘The Way We Wore: A Life in Clothes’and many more projects to be revealed soon that are in the pipeline.
“I was just propelled into the fashion industry by circumstances”
Daphne’s modelling career kicked off when she was at the age of twenty-one as a result of winning a local magazine cover girl competition – post Second World War. Contrary to Daphne’s idea of beauty existing irrespective to physical attributes, she has excelled in the industry and is now rewarded the title of ‘The Oldest Supermodel in the World’ admitting “I was just propelled into the fashion industry by circumstances” she continues “It was my love of clothes and dressing up, and meeting lots of interesting people like artists and designers”.
“age in my case has been an advantage… Younger people seem to want to be like me when they grow old!”
With age just being a number, Daphne stands tall and proud, and continues to blossom as she takes the fashion industry by storm quipping “age in my case has been an advantage… Younger people seem to want to be like me when they grow old!”. The role-model promotes a sense of positive mental well-being and encourages her fans in various ways to regain confidence and maintain faith – that’s more than often lost. Her creed for keeping herself in check and balanced is by engaging in hobbies that stimulate calming effects such as gardening, painting, knitting, cooking and being around her friends.
In current society, there’s an obvious contrast to everyday life in comparison to the ‘60s with the presence of technology being so dominant. And Daphne, having lived through a war and existing pre-Facebook era, has seen both sides of the spectrum. In terms of Social media, we asked Daphne if the existence of platforms – say Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc – have been pivotal in reshaping our mind-sets and mental stability: “social media must shrink confidence in people” adding “as people do not communicate with each other enough now except through the internet”.
PIBE:In tune with this issue’s theme ‘MENTALLY STRONG’, if you could define mentally strong in one word what would it be?
Words / JESSIE PINK : Photographer / IAKAVOS : Stylist / SARA DUNN : Hair / MAKI TANAKA : Makeup / JO FROST
When I was a girl I could never have imagined the technology we have available at our fingertips today. If I wanted to know something I had to go to the Library and search through the reference books or ask someone knowledgeable – luckily for me my father was an academic and taught as a profession. He was always happy to answer my questions, explain things and fulfil my curiosity. Mostly answers weren’t instantly found like they are now. I wrote letters and waited expectantly for a reply which would hopefully come in a few days time. We sent holiday postcards and took photographs and sent the film away to be processed, again taking days of patience to see the results.
The day to day life of a model is easier with technology I must say – I don’t have to traipse around castings with a heavy portfolio as all my shots are online or on my iPad mini in my handbag along with my iPhone. I can receive bookings and updates from my Agent while I’m on the move.
Everything is so much easier you might think – but it’s not! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t want to throw my computer away. So much for technology! There is always something that has changed and updated or that I have forgotten how to do although I’ve been shown a 100 times before. My eyes get tired looking at the screen and something, a photo for instance that was there a minute ago seems to have vanished into thin air and I don’t know why or what I did! Exasperating…
I notice my grandchildren (I have four) have a very different relationship to technology – they are fearless, relaxed and confident. Pressing buttons and working things out in an intuitive way that is a mystery to me. I’m scared I’m going to break it or do something that is irretrievably lost forever. I can only compare it to driving a car or making a cake where a simple mistake can be an absolute disaster that I don’t want to happen. I’m just not programmed inside like our younger generations who’ve grown up with it all.
But I soldier on – irritated when friends, many far younger than me who won’t embrace technology at all or even pick up the answer phone message you left last week. I’ll never know what all the apps on my phone can do and I don’t want to spend all my time looking at the screen but it’s incredible what I have in my life as a result. My students and friends all around the world in particular who bring me such joy and meaning. Connecting to so many on social media and so much more. At least I have a go – I’m not left behind entirely which I do think helps keep a youthful outlook on life. I want to be part of todays current society – although when buying my rail ticket I’d still prefer to buy my ticket from a real live person and not struggle with the automated machine – I’ll leave that for others at least for now!
I’m trying to get the balance right and with all the technology progress I do hope that we keep talking to each other and our real life relationships a priority!
Do you embrace or struggle with technology and where does it make the most difference in your life? I’d love to hear so do write in the comments below:-
Before I dash to get on the plane for New York I wanted to share my beautiful Scottish weekend with you – The Model and the Castle.
I was invited to the stunning Glenapp Castle in Ayrshire, Scotland. Travelling up with my favourite interviewer, my daughter Claire, we talked to the other guests over an incredible Afternoon Tea. Delicate sandwiches and scones – now is it jam first, cream second or cream first, jam second? Mini lemon meringue pies and chocolate orange eclairs oh my! With lots of Earl Grey tea in fine bone china cups to name a few Glenapp Afternoon Tea highlights.
Glenapp a baronial castle is a 5 star Country House Retreat that instantly makes everyone relaxed and feel very much at home. The people who came to see me were a delight from a glowing 11 year old ballet dancer with perfect posture, a young woman on a surprise birthday treat to a couple who had been to see me on my visit to Ayrshire last summer and came to find me like long lost friends and other stylish and interesting people. It was a cosy afternoon with the log fires burning and the wind and rain blowing sideways across the windows in good Scottish fashion.
Built in 1870 this fairytale Victorian castle became the home of Earl of Incape the Chairman of P&O. Churchill & Eisenhower discussed the D-Day landings here. Near the fishing and farming village of Ballantrae on the southern tip of the Ayrshire coast the journey from Glasgow was beautiful to travel and we enjoyed stories of whiskey and Robert Burns.
Across the sea the beautiful Ailsa Craig was hidden in thick cloud and I didn’t see it until Sunday morning. Ailsa Craig is famous for it’s granite curling stones exported around the world for top class competitors.
The only time we ventured outside was when proprietors Poppy & Paul Szkiler took us on a fast electric buggy tour to see the grounds including the large walled garden and the new poly tunnels for growing more of their own produce for the kitchen.
I’m excited to see what this passionate couple create with their new Scottish ‘home’. It is already very special and with their love, attention and the caring team they have inherited it will be something truly unique. I’ll just have to go back to see their vision manifested….and maybe eat some more of the chefs delights and sleep late (something I never do) in the comfy beds and clear Scottish air!
Our time ended all too quickly and it was time for the journey back to London to repack for America – more about that next time….
I spent the afternoon as an “Art Installation” in a pop-up exhibition called New Old at the incredible new home of the Design Museum in London – High Street Kensington.
This special installation New Old by design and invention consultancy Special Projects was to explore the subject of enhancing the experience of our later lives and I was thrilled to be asked to take part.
People visiting the Design Museum New Old Exhibition were invited to ask me one question and I asked them a question in return. It was really fascinating and I loved it. I love meeting new people – friends I’ve never met! My ‘Questioners’ ranged in age from a 9.5 year old dancer to an 86 years old gentleman in a bowler hat. From students to engineers and a Japanese cookery school owner.
I was asked for advice about careers and finding direction in life to what made me so confident. One rather gorgeous dance student got me reminiscing about Marie Rambert of the Ballet Rambert School who I trained with in my 20s. When did I first fall in love? At 17 working in a riding school I fell in love with the owners son (which I wrote about in my book). To a young man wanting a career as a fashion designer who I encouraged to stick with his studies although he was finding things difficult with his tutors – stick through a difficult patch and keep your goal in sight.
To the ‘what makes me so confident’ question I replied that I thought mine came from people helping me when I was very young. Although it was wartime my parents were very supportive and get me up with great values and self-esteem. I’m aware that not everyone has been so lucky in this area which is why I am keen to give back and help where I can – it is never too late to make changes for the better.
The Design Museum is the world’s leading museum devoted to contemporary design in every form from architecture and fashion to graphics, product and industrial design. It is a very beautiful place but does anyone else have trouble in ultra modern buildings finding the doors or how to open them?
Click or tap here for more about design and invention consultancy Special Projects
Confidence Course – my 4 week online self esteem building course to feel more confident and beautiful starts tomorrow. There’s still time to find out about it and join in – click or tap here
What question would you have asked me if you’d been there? Do let me know in the comments below:-
Thank you so much for your interest in my Confidence Course. A lack of confidence or wanting more confidence is something I see and hear about all the time. I feel that I know a lot about it after all my years of experience and the life I have been lucky to lead. I come across a lot of people who aren’t as confident as they’d like to be and I know I can help. So I’ve come up with a Confidence Plan!
This new course will be entirely focussed on building self-esteem and feeling more beautiful. It will consist of things I know and have learnt over my long life in fashion. I’m going to cover various different areas and ways to improve your confidence including your posture, style, makeup, exercise, diet and more.
Although people are often asking me how to approach ageing, weight, hair, clothing and diet you may be asking what kind of transformation can I expect? Did you see my Confidence Update where one of my students talks to my daughter Claire? You can see it here if you missed it. I believe that if you give attention to different areas of your life, many times in just small ways, these changes can lead to big differences and totally give you a new experience of yourself.
I have a vision of the world where we are all feeling and looking our best and are full of enthusiasm and energy. I’d like to help and the best way to do that and fit in today’s world with our busy schedules is to do it online!
It is a 4 week online course starting on Monday 16th January and each week will have different areas to focus on and you can do in your own time and at your own pace. Think of it like a journey (a Confidence Plan) where each thing leads on to the next.
The course is broken down into the following areas
Week One – Posture / Clothing / Style
Week Two – Skincare / Makeup / Hair
Week Three – Diet / Weight / Exercise
Week Four – Self-esteem / Ageing / New Horizons
The course will consist of my knowledge, solutions that work and suggested things to do and change or improve to achieve the results that you’d like and dream of. We are all different and I want to help you be the best ‘you’ that you can be and make the best of your natural attributes inside and out.
I’m known for being natural and elegant and those are important things that define me so if you are planning plastic surgery, have no intention of trying to look after yourself in a healthy way or have no interest in how you present yourself this course won’t be for you. I’m not saying these things are wrong, they just aren’t who I am and I not the best person to help.
You will receive regular emails and the link and password to the private area of my website to access the course material as we go through the 4 weeks.
The cost of the course is £297 and you can put your name on the list to get a chance to sign up to enrolment when it opens on Tuesday 10th January at 11am (London time). I’m planning on closing enrolment on Sunday 15th January at 6pm (London time) or when it is full – so don’t delay to avoid disappointment.
Hello, Claire here Daphne’s daughter, I want to say a big thank you to those of you for the interest in Daphne’s coming Confidence Course – it really is quite overwhelming. I do think Daphne is really on to something here for those of us who don’t want to be models but could do with a bit of model confidence – who better to go to than Daphne with her 80 plus years of style.
Daphne outlined in her last message how she wants to help with challenges and changes as we go through life. People are often asking Daphne how to approach age, weight, hair, style, exercise and numerous other topics. You may be asking what kind of transformation can I expect? What better than to talk to one of Daphne’s students so I’m here at the Shetland Pony Club with Rosemary.
Here in Cupcake’s dream stable, Rosemary tell me how did you meet Daphne?
Well I met Daphne as she actually came to Shetland Pony Club my pony club. She walked into the Ranch and she looked amazing. I knew who she was immediately as she is very recognisable and I also knew that she loved ponies and we had a lovely day. I was amazed at realising that she was in her eighties and how stylish she was.
Were you struggling with any aspects of how you were feeling about yourself at the time?
Well, yes I was, I’m in my fifties and working at the pony club I had rather stopped wearing makeup, which was a choice – I chose not to do that and then along came YouTube and we started doing a very successful weekly show where I actually had to talk to the cameras. When I started doing that I wasn’t very happy with how I looked.
So you weren’t feeling particularly confident or feeling beautiful about yourself?
I was quite nervous, I’d been one of those media courses about how to talk to the media which unfortunately rather wrecked my confidence. They told you to be more confident but not how to do it.
Sounds like they gave you the problem but not the solutions that you were after?
Yes, I came out of it feeling that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to host a YouTube show.
DAPHNE TO THE RESCUE…
What particularly did you feel you got the most out of the course (Daphne’s Confidence Course)?
Well I really enjoyed the course and Daphne helps you look at the good points that you do have. We all have points that we like and points that we don’t and I was interested to hear that actually Daphne has somethings that she doesn’t like about her body. I had crooked teeth as a result of an accident and I thought I’d like to get them fixed (as a result of doing the course) and in fact when I went to the dentist he fixed them really quickly and without any great expense which boosted my confidence. Then I thought I could try wearing a bit more make-up and I looked at the more modern colours that are out there – I enjoyed doing that.
Well certainly looking at your YouTube channel and looking at you now you look very confident and beautiful so would you say that some of that has come from being a student of Daphne?
Yes, definitely, I went through my wardrobe and picked out the clothes that I really like and English country clothes are really nice with the tweeds and things and although I don’t have very many of them the ones I’ve got are nice quality and I thought, do you know what, just wear them a bit more.
So you do feel good when you get up in the morning and you might have very little time to spend would you say that you feel good about what you choose to put on and how you go out into the world?
Yes, I do and as it is a weekly YouTube show we are under pressure to come up with a film every week so you have to be ready to go when the cameras roll. But I think it is not just the fact that this is part of my work everybody nowadays is photographed a lot more than we used to be – Instagram, Facebook, so I think that paying attention to how you look is something that affects everybody and of course we all get older and Daphne has been stylish all her life so she is very inspiring.
How did you find the course being online?
You know, that was good for me. I’m really busy and it meant that I could do it in my own time and in the privacy of my own home. I didn’t have to rush anywhere to get to a meeting or class. I could just do it online and I loved that – it was really good.
My last question is:- I’m told that some of the ponies, I’m not sure if Cupcake is one, have hair extensions. Is this true?
Yes, it is true, it’s not just people and models that have hair extensions. If they are doing fashion shoots and the ponies do do fashion photo shoots sometimes they need more hair – but you don’t Cupcake do you, you don’t need more hair!
Well thank you very much Cupcake for letting us film in your stable and please look out for the next update from Daphne.
The next update will be out by Sunday, 8th January and will be covering all the course details. Including the course dates and the topics and subjects covered and the cost and payment details – don’t miss out and if you haven’t signed up for the Confidence Course mailing list yet you can do that here:- Confidence Course List
Lastly, what is your biggest confidence challenge? Do let me know in the comments below:-
The start of a new year is a great place for a review – a confidence review: –
Are you happy with how you feel, look and are approaching this stage of your life?
How is your wardrobe, make-up, hair, confidence and self-esteem?
Do you want this New Year to be the one where you are happy with your age, weight, appearance, mood and impact on others?
Is this the time for that new job, partner, hobby or adventure and you don’t want to hold yourself back any longer?
How much more energy and confidence would you have if you were really comfortable in your own skin expressing your own uniqueness and style?
I understand that change is uncomfortable and it is much easier to stick to familiar old habits. Taking on new ways of being can be very worthwhile and transformative. With years in front of the camera and on the catwalk along with a lifetime love of fashion and style I can help with the where, how and what!
Building confidence from action starting right now I want you wherever you are are to sit or stand a bit taller. Stretch up your spine out of your hips and pull your shoulders back and breath. Doesn’t that feel good? Are you ready to create dreams and goals and face new challenges with more confidence already!
Standing taller with better posture not only makes you feel more confident it will make you less invisible (no more invisibility thank you – you’re too precious for that!) Test out this new posture when you walk across your place of work/study or down the street. Notice not only how it feels to you but how others respond to you. Any type of clothing looks better too – I know, I’ve modelled a rubbish bag before!
Can you keep this new posture up? How long before you lapse back to a familiar, less than ideal one – is the invisibility cloak back on?
Let me help – Look out for my next Daphne News on Thursday 5th January where I will have an example of what’s possible and more on Confidence with Daphne!
PS How happy are you on film? Social media is all the rage – don’t get left behind.
PPS Don’t assume the best days of your life are behind you (I’m 88 so I know).
Lastly, what is your biggest confidence challenge? Do let me know in the comments below and you can put your name down on my Confidence list here to get further information first.
I filmed a short video feature called Inside My Suitcase for Vogue Japan
“These are the things that I have brought today. They are old (vintage) things really. This is a dress I bought in a sale, it’s interesting and unusual (black & white long fine knit dress). And this is my old favourite cardigan, I bought this in the 70s – a longtime ago. It was an unusual colour at the time (purple) but it suited me so I bought it. This one is a bit more recent and it is an old Monsoon and it is ever such fun because it’s unusual (orange, black, cream & red). This is my scarf which I bought on a holiday in the Channel Islands and I seem to have worn that ever since and is about 15 years old. I don’t seem to have many new things for going on holiday or travelling because I get my favourites. This one is a raincoat (leopard print) which is by a firm called Dannimac which were quite famous in the 70s and 80s. These shoes I brought because I had to design them. They’re by MySwear and I had to say what colours I wanted. I said I like shocking pink and silver goes with practically anything – I just love them! I’m very good at packing. Always roll everything up because that’s the way to make it take up a little room – like this (plus it keeps any creases to a minimum too). My alarm clock……. (click on the video links for more)
This is the same video again just to make sure you can see it!
What are your travelling tips? Do let me know in the comments below:-
The Model Minder – Do you operate alone or as a team?
You may have heard me talk about The Model Minder and how I couldn’t manage without her.
I wanted you to hear from her directly so here is The Model Minder:-
Hello, I’m Claire, who Daphne calls The Model Minder. I’m Daphne’s oldest daughter so I’ve known Daphne my entire life. With people closest to us it’s not unusual to take for granted the lessons, wisdom and what they have imparted to us as just a common thing and assume “doesn’t everyone else know that?” Mostly, we don’t think about the uniqueness of who they are and of what they bring us. And we certainly don’t always appreciate how special their gift to us is. Maybe we don’t take the time to realise that not everyone has the same opportunity to shape their life from an early age with the skills, routines, outlooks and behaviours without considering that not everyone else has the same from their mothers and role models. I was guilty of this until recently.
Once I had my own children, my twin sons, I started to value more what my mother had done for me – this seems to be a normal revelation and insight in many of our lives at this stage of life. Of course I was super busy and even more so after the early death of my husband Dick when our boys were 6 years old. The next phase of my life was devoted to trying to be the best parent I could be and raise my family as best I could. As my boys became more independent and forging their own paths in life I began to muse about what my ‘next chapter’ would be.
It was important for me that whatever I chose would be meaningful and make a difference in the world, whether that was for a few or many. As I began to think about what I might do Daphne was saying how often she was being asked for her story but had also been told no one would want to publish her book as it wasn’t a disaster story or full of sex and drugs and rock n roll – something passionate stirred inside of me as I thought to myself “that’s just not right as many of us are inspired by Daphne and would love to read her story!” Plus I thought here is a place where I could be of value. I could get my business skills updated for today’s world. So I made the decision that I would help Daphne produce her memoir for Daphne’s four grandchildren if no one else! We found a publisher and the rest is history. One thing led to another and we now have the Daphne Selfe Academy, Daphne News and Daphne’s memoir The Way We Wore: A Life in Clothes published in both English and Japanese. With other exciting things we are working on together I can’t tell you how much fun it’s been and how easy and delightful Daphne is to work with and I’m loving getting to know the students in Daphne’s Model Family and her many fans around the world. Working with my mother is something that had never occurred to me before. Isn’t it funny how sometimes the next chapter in life or major decision is there right in front of you but you didn’t realise and had no idea until the time is right and it’s just the most perfect thing.
Having just returned from accompanying Daphne on her recent trip to Japan for the launch of her book in Japanese it is wonderful to say it is still at No 1 in Japan!
Thank you Claire for introducing yourself and to those of you who have gone through The Daphne Academy and are now part of my Model Family you have got to know Claire already. For those of you coming on the next Academy starting next month you will be pleased to know that it’s not just me to look after you and that Claire and I come as a team.
Do you come alone or as part of a team? Do let me know in the comments below I’d love to hear and please do share with your family and friends.
This is a special message – The next Daphne Selfe Academy, my 6 week online modelling program is starting early next month.
Run for the first time last year with great success my Model Family is growing – who’s joining me this time?
Is it time you stepped up to your dream of being a model?
Does your ‘inner model’ need the knowledge and confidence to make a positive change and be the best you there is?
Maybe you don’t know what steps to take to feel less awkward and in it’s place confident, beautiful and self assured. For example if you had the proper training and skills walking into a crowded room, casting or interview situation would never feels as frightening again and you would create a very different impression.
Do you say to yourself I wish I could see myself as others see me as I really don’t understand what makes me unique and attractive in their eyes – I just don’t get it? Would you like to change that this year?
Or maybe you’re constantly told you should be a model or you’re been scouted and don’t know where to start, who to trust and where you can get support and guidance.
With the Daphne Selfe Academy my online modelling program you have all you need to know about the modelling life in easy to follow steps conveniently in one place. I’m there for you every step of the way whether it’s to be the next top model or the best ‘model you’ that’s possible.
It’s starting on Monday, 3rd of October so put the date in your diary.
You can’t enrol yet but you can put your name onto the enrolment waiting list here and I’ll let you know when enrolment is open.
Let me know in the comments below why you want to do the Daphne Selfe Academy and do share with your family and friends.
I’m so looking forward to getting to know you and see you continue to flourish & blossom.
Or more to the point do you feel young or old today?
I’ve noticed I’ve felt different at different times over my 88 years and I was trying to work out what the difference is and whether my actual age plays a part or not.
If my feet are being particularly painful (I suffer from a condition called Vasculitus which is a constant tingling pins and needles sensation in my feet) or the British weather is blowing an icy cold and wet wind straight into my eyes making them sore and watery I feel old as I battle down the street.
When life is going well and I’m fit and healthy (and the weather is more amenable) I feel young and vibrant. Luckily, I’m fit and healthy and I refuse to let my painful feet get the better of me most of the time – so they don’t. Being naturally a cheerful, curious and optimistic person I’m usually found rushing around feeling like a teenager! I usually say ‘yes’ to new opportunities which is another way to keep feeling youthful and alive.
I’m fortunate in having a robust health due in some part to my genes but encouraged by a good lifestyle so I’m not often feeling old. I see that you can be of a very young age and still feel old when life is harsh and you are coping with an illness or big stresses – hopefully these will pass and you can make choices that will help these things disappear. Therefore don’t confuse your life and the choices available to you with your actual age – a number which is only going to increase. Getting to a ‘big number’ is a priviledge not available to everyone so enjoy this life we have each and every day – young or old and throw away any notion of a number of years meaning anything more important than it is – just a number.
What do you do to keep a youthful outlook? I’d love to know what your tips are and if this has struck a cord with you. Please do let me know in the comments below and share with your family and friends.
What do you do to relax? I do think it’s good to have something you do for only yourself and not to please anyone else. Right from a young age I’ve loved to draw and paint. Art By Daphne has existed for almost as long as me!
I can remember doodling sprawled out in front of the open fire or under the old apple tree, absorbed in my own world focussing only on what I was doing and nothing else. It’s the same today although with slightly less sprawling! Plus the reason I still paint is for my own enjoyment.
I’ve moved on from only sketching horses (I was horse mad) in pencil and love all mediums from charcoal, oil, watercolour, pastels and my current favourite acrylic. I mainly paint at home in my light filled conservatory sitting at the table. I love the idea of a peaceful time sketching while I’m on my travels but that rarely happens and the best I can do is take a photograph or two for inspiration for when I’m back home.
For many years now I have turned my art into greeting cards for family and friends and in more recent years for my local community. They have been continually popular and I’ve quite a selection now. I’ve been encouraged to make them available for those of you further afield. Here are 6 that I’ve selected to share with you and purchase if you like for yourself or to give as gifts to your friends and family.
Now do please let me know which is your favourite one and what creations and past times you enjoy for relaxation in the comments below.
For further information and to purchase a pack or two go to my new online shop page.
I’m often complimented on my hair and really it is my trademark these days. Many of you tell me you are struggling with thinning hair, lack of condition, when to colour and when not and how to know what style is best as the years advance. So for this Daphne News I thought I’d write about hair as you get older.
What are the do’s and don’ts?
Are there any rules that must be obeyed?
Somethings I’m going to tell you may surprise you! For instance when I reached 60 years old I was getting fed up with the regular 3 weekly root touch up to keep mine looking the glossy brunette it had always been. Time seemed to speed up and it’d come round so soon and was just another chore to get done when I’d rather be doing something else! I’ve been lucky with naturally wavy hair which I’ve worn shoulder length or in a short bob such as during the 1960s. This meant it always had plenty of bounce and natural body. Now things were changing….
It was my youngest daughter Rose who encouraged me to go ‘au naturel’ and to embrace it as a honouring acceptance of who I am at a new stage of life and that I could still be myself and feel and look beautiful and womanly. Plus I can’t tell you the relief at not having to mess about with bottles of dye and/or hairdressers – I haven’t got time for that! There’s nothing wrong with relaxing in a salon if that’s something you enjoy but I prefer to make different choices with my time and money.
As I went grey in my 60s I was modelling ofcourse but a lot of my work was as a film and TV extra (I could write a book about it all!) I was getting more and more bookings for period dramas and the stylists were always pleased because I didn’t need to be fitted with an expensive purpose made wig. My hair could be styled into whatever era was being created – much quicker and cost effective for the Production Company. I enjoyed my work and with a quick trim to keep the ends in good shape my hair grew longer. As my face has naturally thinned over time my bone structure has emerged more distinctively and wearing my hair back off of my face suits this. In my normal day to day life I wear my hair wound up and clipped in place. It takes a moment to do and I’m set for the day – easy, quick and stylish. I don’t wear my hair down apart from at fashion shoots and shows where with great makeup and lighting it can look great. Stylists love to create different looks and the artistic and creative side of me enjoys this immensely.
Keeping your hair in as good condition as you can is essential. There is a place for good hair products but your lifestyle choices have a bigger effect I believe. If you eat a bad diet, don’t exercise and are very stressed or have been ill it will show in your hair. Plus there is the damage that can be done to it with overuse of straighteners and dryers etc. It may be an idea to review how much you wash your hair and if it is really necessary. Over-stripping your hair of it’s natural oils too often makes your hair more vulnerable to damage and split ends and as well as making any hair dye fade quicker. I do think we have been encouraged to wash it more than always needed! I also want to mention, that sadly all to often, I have had friends who have lost their hair during chemotherapy treatment which changes ones view of oneself and image in a shocking and drastic way. Don’t despair about your hair as you have other more pressing things to consider – use a beautiful scarf, headband, big earrings or hat and be creative with your new temporary look or just ‘rock the bald look’. When your hair grows back it might be very different at first, perhaps extra curly so go with it and explore the new look you. I know there will be moments of mourning your lost hair but try and look forward and be brave and experiment. Most importantly don’t stress about it and be creative and feisty as much as you can.
There seems to be a rule that once you reach a certain point in life that longer hair is a complete no no and a short curly hair do is what you must have. For some of us a short pixie cut or curly perm is the perfect thing which can be combined with a blue rinse or bolder hues. It is not the only option anymore! The important things is to know that anything goes these days. What I would suggest is consider:-
Your lifestyle and budget – be appropriate for your workplace? do you want something high maintenance or maintenance free?
Hair assessment – what is your hair actually like – straight, curly, thick, thin or thinning, natural colour & stage of greying process
The shape of your face and your overall silhouette – choose a style that doesn’t drag your face down or hide your features but frames your face and accentuates your best features
Consider the actual condition your hair is in and what you can do to improve it if needed
Colouring – ensure your hair colour compliments your skin colouring and isn’t too harsh or jarring
How your hair fits in with your own particular style
What makes YOU feel good – if it’s a particular hair colour try it / maybe you aren’t ready to be grey yet
There is no right or wrong with hair as you get older – experiment
Forget about your age – that is just a number!
What are your thoughts on hair as you get older? – Do comment below and share with your friends and family
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When it comes to colour are you playing safe and reaching for the unobtrusive and familiar option? Are you confused or lacking in confidence so you dare not experiment? Do you think it depends on your age or figure? I notice that this happens a lot and I want to encourage you to be bolder and enjoy how it makes you feel. Changing our physical presence does have an effect on our emotional well-being with the two aspects being connected. By embracing a colourful outlook physically I guarantee it will have an uplifting effect on both yourself and everyone around you!
Some tips I can pass on from my 87 years of experience to get you going are:-
Start with a scarf in your favourite colour or make a statement with a colourful bag or pair of shoes.
Select clothing in a beautiful colour for the area of your body you like best and want to draw attention to. Leaving other parts to more ‘uneventful’ colours.
Learn which colours best suit your skin tone and stick to these colours near your face. For example if you have a fair complexion and want to wear acid yellow you can still wear it just have it further down your body – your skirt or trousers. Compliment it with a softer flattering colour on your top half. You want the colour to accentuate you and not be drowned out by it!
Also as we evolve and our colouring changes remember to update your wardrobe. When I was a brunette and suntanned I loved to wear very bright orange and now I’m ‘silver’ I still wear orange but not of such a bright tone just slightly softer. If you purposefully change your hair colour adapt your wardrobe at the same time.
Choosing one or two complimenting main colours is usually enough so that you remain elegant and not overdone.
If you have something in your wardrobe that you love but is of rather a boring colour you can make it look striking with a statement piece of jewellery, belt or funky tights.
The same applies if you have to wear a uniform or a particular dress code think where you can put some colour in an appropriate way such as your lipstick, eyeshadow and nail polish. Getting the balance between fitting in and being unique can take some practice to get right – be brave and it will become natural as you develop your confidence and your own colour style.
Have fun combining colours together that you haven’t done before. Fashion rules are much more relaxed these days and anything goes – if it works, it works!
Now, look in the mirror and ask yourself – do I look uplifting, bright and colourful? I hope the answer is a big cheerful YES or that with my tips you can put this right.
Let’s make our world a more vibrant colourful place starting with us!
You deserve it
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Come and meet me at one of my book signings click here for the latest information on my UK book tour dates and locations.
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Hurray, Academy enrolment is now open and you can register online at Daphne Selfe Academy, for my 6 week online modelling course. A great way to start your own modelling career. It starts on Monday, 29th February and places will be limited so don’t delay – find and/or improve your model self this spring. #beyourownselfe
Of course a modelling career isn’t for everyone but if you are interested in improving your confidence and style this is the course for you. The ‘tricks of the trade’ are applicable in all walks of life and will give you a boost and step up that you won’t regret.
Watch below to see Daphne talking about her Academy to The Model Minder
The feedback from our 2016 Leap Together Students has been wonderful and Daphne is delighted to be changing lives and making friends and building her Model Family. With comments such as “the Academy is worth it’s weight in gold” and “the best experience I have ever had”.
Daphne will be running future courses so do put your name down so you are the first to know the dates and to have the opportunity to enrol before enrolment is open publicly by emailing your name to email@example.com.
My memoir The Way We Wore: A Life in Clothes is now available in paperback. A model life and love of clothes – I wish I’d written it before if I’d known what fun it would be!
“Daphne Selfe has been photographed by Mario Testino, Nick Knight and David Bailey. She has modelled for Dolce and Gabbana, Red or Dead and high-street chains such as TK Maxx, and regularly appears in newspaper fashion pages and glossy magazines. She is one of Britain’s most in-demand supermodels and has worked non-stop for almost twenty years. But what makes her really rather extraordinary is that she is now in her late eighties. Daphne grew up in an age when dresses were lovingly run up for you by your mother, when needlework for even the most basic outfit was an art form, and when a new Simplicity Pattern was almost more exciting than a new dance tune. Perhaps as a result, she has had a lifelong love affair with clothes and fashion. The Way We Wore is a heart-warming account of that love affair, taking readers from the organdie party frocks of a 1930s childhood to the pages of Vogue. In it, Daphne shares a wealth of anecdotes from her peripatetic childhood, following her teacher father from school to school, from her modelling career, which began as a department store house model, and from her long and happy marriage. The result is a vivid and inspiring memoir from a woman who has always embraced life and who continues to do so in her ninth decade with as much zest as in her first”.
To order a copies for yourself, family and friends please click here and select a retailer.
Hear from some of Daphne’s student about the results of their modelling training
My daughter was approached by a modelling agency ‘scout’ whilst out shopping. The whole idea of modelling was completely alien to us and we were unsure if this was a genuine opportunity so decided to research the modelling industry in more detail. However, we did not know where to start, there did not seem to be anything available and then we saw the launch of Daphne’s Academy and decided to enrol our daughter on the course.
It was an enormous help to us and we were able to set her up with a fantastic grounding and insight into the modelling world. This has given her, my husband and I, a much better understanding of the business and been a great boost to her confidence.
She is really excited about being part of this wonderful group.
We wish Daphne every success in providing the knowledge and support for aspiring models everywhere.
I really enjoyed Daphne’s online course.
Each week gave useful information and tips about how to prepare for the world of modelling. It has helped me to believe in myself and has built my confidence enormously. Daphne taught me and got me thinking about things I hadn’t considered before. Things such as how to stay professional and keep safe – for which I and my family are very grateful.
Instead of being terrified I am looking forward to my next modelling agency appointment, feeling slightly nervous, as you’d expect, but mainly excited and hopeful about my future.
Thank you for answering all my questions and letting me be part of your Model Family.
I would definitely recommend Daphne’s Academy to anyone interested in modelling.
The Daphne Selfe Academy is Unique – I’ve never done one like it!
I enjoyed the course very much. Timeless beauty of Daphne and being close to high fashion will help me to become the best version of myself.
Thanks to routines I will better organise my life so I could exercise, eat well and become beautiful. Daphne gave me confidence to make changes in my life.
Thinking about the success which Daphne achieved I want to put my passions first so I could do something with my life in the areas I enjoy.
Thinking about my next steps.
Best wishes, Marzena
I am in my fifties ..an age where you can start to feel invisible and Daphne shows you how to be beautiful at any age . The course gave me confidence and hope and determination not to “fade away” .
I am not a model but do have to do public speaking and you tube filming and now I feel more confident and carefree about being in front of the camera . Even my selfies are better! I no longer feel apologetic for being a bit older than your average presenter and am enjoying the skin I am in !
The course comes over six weeks which gave me time to really think it over and start to make changes . I looked forward to each new week .
Daphne is an inspiration – And the course was very friendly and encouraging .
Daphne provides a wealth of experience and good sense from her 6 decades modelling – no one could know the business better! The course combines it all in one place and will set you up for life whatever you want to do.
When I think of models I mostly think of the stereotypical slim young girl with perfect features and proportions. Daphne not only tells you how to model but to consider the type of model you are going to be. For someone like myself who is wheelchair bound it hadn’t occurred to me to think of myself in that way.
What Daphne is saying is that everybody is beautiful and has something to offer and includes us all in her Model Family. Her course is just as relevant to me and I got just as much out of it as a teenager starting out who is pursuing a full-time modelling career.
With each week the results showed immediately. My physio commented on how improved my posture is in my wheelchair and was both impressed and pleased with the benefits it gives my health and wellbeing. I have always been someone who has loved style and fashion but I’ve never really thought of myself as model material even when I was fully able but now I have a new lease of life and confidence. When my local boutique were advertising for models I thought “why not me!
Plus I feel so differently about the opportunity to be photographed for our in-house magazine. I know what to do and have tips and practices in my head to call on – I say to myself “Do a Daphne” as the camera faces me.
I was surprised at Daphne’s keeping healthy and eating properly routines as I thought she’d be saying you have to starve yourself for two weeks before any bookings. Instead she has tips and advice such as how not to flag before the end of a busy day.
You get accreditation at end of the course. A tangible certificate to put in your portfolio for all to see you are taking your career seriously and are fully committed to what you are doing and know how to behave properly.
After finishing the course I couldn’t believe she was happy to spend time with me and personally present me with my certificate which I have proudly displayed on my wall.
I thoroughly enjoyed doing the course and had huge fun practising my poses.
Everything is taught in a non-preachy way. Sound good advice like you would get from your Granny and not a teacher. But this ‘Granny’ is saying “Look, I’m still doing it”.
I enjoyed seeing pictures of Daphne throughout her career and see her ability to look appealing whatever her age.
A model has to have the skills and confidence to be looked at constantly by other people whether through a camera or directly. Most of us go for job interviews and want to present the best of ourselves and make a good first impression. In everyday life things have become more and more visual for all of us – just think how many selfies we all take! If you’re thinking about doing the course I can tell you you will be so happy you did and have no regrets.
Daphne has been ‘looked at’ her whole life and there isn’t a trace of conceit about her just her timeless grace.
The Daphne Selfe Academy is taught with the same beautiful grace
Thank you Daphne,
Put your name on the
waiting list for Daphne’s next Modelling Training Course by
To learn to model wasn’t something I was thinking about 12 months ago
For many of us it is the holiday season. A time to reflect on what’s important and look back over the past year and to relax with family and friends or enjoy time without the usual distractions of our normal busy lives. Putting all my knowledge down in one place for those who want to learn to model wasn’t something I’d thought about at the beginning of the year or even a website for that matter either!
2015 has been a year of new beginnings and adventures for me. Modelling has taken me to Stockholm, Sydney, Paris & London for wonderful campaigns with my modelling agency Models 1. I launched my own website www.daphneselfe.com, the twice monthly Daphne News, published my memoir The Way We Wore: A Life in Clothes with publisher Macmillan and started The Daphne Selfe Academy with students doing my online course from all over the world. Who said that you have to slow down? Not when you’re having this much fun!
Talking of fun; click below to see:-
Day 12 of Models 1 Charity Advent Calendar
with Chef Tess Ward and myself. Fourteen whole seconds of us being silly, dancing about and posing. I do hope you will enjoy it in the spirit of Christmas.
You may not have thought much before about being a model and you won’t really learn a lot about modelling from this post (but we did film it in my modelling agency in London’s Covent Garden) but you can learn to model by doing my online course for information do look at my Academy page by clicking or tapping this link The Daphne Selfe Academy it may be the perfect new skill or direction to have next. An investment in yourself that I believe will not be wasted.
Daphne hopes you will enjoy this beautifully made compilation video by Bochen Zhang which has recently come to Daphne’s attention. Enjoy whether you want to become a fashion model or not:-
It is never too late to be a model or be more confident in yourself using the skills and habits that Daphne has used and developed her whole life. She is still loving life and full of energy – discover her secrets and knowledge that are keeping her top of the modelling game – having fun and full of curiosity and zest for life.
Here’s a link to a behind the scenes video by Alistair Guy on his Strong Women Exhibition at Smythson. Inspired by Daphne, Alistair went on to produce his series of black and white photographs showcasing exceptional women that Alistair has come to know through his work in the worlds of fashion, film and music. This exclusive exhibition launched at Smythson, London New Bond Street flagship store and will move to their newly opened Madison Avenue boutique in New York.
“Women mentally are terribly strong but they are also fragile. I believe there is an incredible beauty in this dichotomy. The Strong Women project is a celebration of femininity as well as a celebration of each person and their character, their personality.”
“Strong women came about because of her [Daphne] being who she is; the fact she has worked for 60 years within the model industry and also does yoga every day alongside having a family. She is a wonderful woman and quite inspirational.”
Make present shopping for your loved ones easy and extra special with copies of Daphne’s autobiography
Click and listen to Daphne’s 12 minute interview on 2nd November 2015 on The Lifestyles Show, Talk Radio Europe with Selina Mackenzie (apologies for the sound quality). Daphne Selfe an older model with zest for life.
One of Britain’s successful models who has been in demand for the last twenty years. And what really makes her rather extraordinary is that she is now in her late eighties. She’s here to tell us about her life and her new book. Thank you for joining us Daphne. “Thank you for having me on your programme”. Well I think you are incredible and you look incredible, I’d like to ask you at what age did you start modelling? Well I started when I was twenty by mistake really. I did a few years then and then I got married and thought I wouldn’t do anymore. I did do extra work in television and things like that as an extra”.
“My agent knew that I’d done a bit of modelling when I was in my twenties and when I was seventy I was asked to do the catwalk for London Fashion Week and I thought why not! I did the show then for Red or Dead and the stylist on that, a little while later, that Vogue were doing an article on ageing and why don’t you see about that. So I did and I was photographed by Nick Knight and at the session the scout for Models 1 was there and she said I think we want you on our books and the rest as they say is history!”
To listen to the whole interview click on the link above in the long black bar. Remember the sound quality of this recording isn’t that great so please do get in contact for a full transcript if you prefer by emailing:- firstname.lastname@example.org
Having just arrived back from Paris on a major photo and film shoot (which I have to keep quiet about until next Spring – ssshhh), my book The Way We Wore published and the Daphne Selfe Academy well under way it got me thinking these are things I could never have conceived happening at any point earlier in my life never mind in my ninth decade! A busy model indeed…
Here I am travelling on Eurostar back from Paris and having a small glass of champagne after such a successful shoot. I’m not one for much alcohol but a little occasionally I do enjoy. When I got married in 1954 I gave up any thoughts of having a career and was happy to be a wife and subsequent mother to our three children. It was the normal thing of the day and domestic life I loved. As the children got older and more independent I did film and TV extra work here and there so you can imagine my surprise at being rediscovered as a fashion model at 70 years old. I thought it might be fun for a few weeks and here we are 17+ years on.
I want to encourage you to stay open and curious about new things at whatever stage in life you are. Unexpected opportunities seem to happen while we are busy making plans so keep in the best shape you can with healthy choices and a positive outlook as you never know what is around the corner – the best is yet to come.
PS I shall be in London on the 15th November at The Hampstead & Highgate Literary Festival doing book signings. For further information and to book tickets click:- http://www.daphneselfe.com/book-tour/
When do you need an exercise routine and when to let it go?
I think it is very important to have a set of routines to set yourself up for a healthy and long active life and to squeeze the most out of everyday.
Mine includes doing my daily exercises every morning. I do a mixture of yoga, pilates and dance exercises that I have developed over the years which works for me plus 15 minutes on my exercise bike. The main thing is to do something you like that gets your body moving and keeps you active.
Do I do them every single day? The answer to that is if an exciting opportunity comes my way and means I can’t fit the time in I don’t worry. There’s always a set of stairs to spring up or a fast walk to take!
I love my routines but I love the amazing jobs and adventures I’m having even more. I believe I wouldn’t have one without the other!
For those of you enrolled to start with the Daphne Selfe Academy I’m so excited that we are starting on Monday week the 26th October. It’s not too late to enrol and join us.
I was honoured to be invited to talk at The Industry (connecting people who are shaping the future of fashion) event at Conde Nast College in London along with Fashion Expert Caryn Franklin. One of the questions from the audience was “Where do you think ordinary women go wrong in their fashion choices?”
I think that people could experiment more. I cherry pick from clothes I have collected from many different eras which I mix, match and customise. This takes time, which I enjoy hugely, mucking about with my clothes in front of the mirror – always looking at the back view too. I never know what is going to work until I try it. Many times it’s a disaster – one that is only between me and my mirror! Only by continually experimenting do I work out what will be a success. I find combinations and ‘looks’ that work for my figure and lifestyle. The result is an outfit that is unique and fresh and was already there in my wardrobe. Adding a new item of clothing to my wardrobe changes everything – what ‘new looks’ will this one piece bring? I can’t wait to find out! How about you – what ‘new looks’ are already there waiting to be discovered in your wardrobe? Do let me know in the comments below.