Hair As You Get Older
I’m often complimented on my hair and really it is my trademark these days. Many of you tell me you are struggling with thinning hair, lack of condition, when to colour and when not and how to know what style is best as the years advance. So for this Daphne News I thought I’d write about hair as you get older.
What are the do’s and don’ts?Are there any rules that must be obeyed?Somethings I’m going to tell you may surprise you! For instance when I reached 60 years old I was getting fed up with the regular 3 weekly root touch up to keep mine looking the glossy brunette it had always been. Time seemed to speed up and it’d come round so soon and was just another chore to get done when I’d rather be doing something else! I’ve been lucky with naturally wavy hair which I’ve worn shoulder length or in a short bob such as during the 1960s. This meant it always had plenty of bounce and natural body. Now things were changing….
It was my youngest daughter Rose who encouraged me to go ‘au naturel’ and to embrace it as a honouring acceptance of who I am at a new stage of life and that I could still be myself and feel and look beautiful and womanly. Plus I can’t tell you the relief at not having to mess about with bottles of dye and/or hairdressers – I haven’t got time for that! There’s nothing wrong with relaxing in a salon if that’s something you enjoy but I prefer to make different choices with my time and money.
As I went grey in my 60s I was modelling of course but a lot of my work was as a film and TV extra (I could write a book about it all!) I was getting more and more bookings for period dramas and the stylists were always pleased because I didn’t need to be fitted with an expensive purpose made wig. My hair could be styled into whatever era was being created – much quicker and cost effective for the Production Company. I enjoyed my work and with a quick trim to keep the ends in good shape my hair grew longer. As my face has naturally thinned over time my bone structure has emerged more distinctively and wearing my hair back off of my face suits this. In my normal day to day life I wear my hair wound up and clipped in place. It takes a moment to do and I’m set for the day – easy, quick and stylish. I don’t wear my hair down apart from at fashion shoots and shows where with great makeup and lighting it can look great. Stylists love to create different looks and the artistic and creative side of me enjoys this immensely.
Keeping your hair in as good condition as you can is essential. There is a place for good hair products but your lifestyle choices have a bigger effect I believe. If you eat a bad diet, don’t exercise and are very stressed or have been ill it will show in your hair. Plus there is the damage that can be done to it with overuse of straighteners and dryers etc. It may be an idea to review how much you wash your hair and if it is really necessary. Over-stripping your hair of it’s natural oils too often makes your hair more vulnerable to damage and split ends and as well as making any hair dye fade quicker. I do think we have been encouraged to wash it more than always needed! I also want to mention, that sadly all to often, I have had friends who have lost their hair during chemotherapy treatment which changes ones view of oneself and image in a shocking and drastic way. Don’t despair about your hair as you have other more pressing things to consider – use a beautiful scarf, headband, big earrings or hat and be creative with your new temporary look or just ‘rock the bald look’. When your hair grows back it might be very different at first, perhaps extra curly so go with it and explore the new look you. I know there will be moments of mourning your lost hair but try and look forward and be brave and experiment. Most importantly don’t stress about it and be creative and feisty as much as you can.
There seems to be a rule that once you reach a certain point in life that longer hair is a complete no no and a short curly hair do is what you must have. For some of us a short pixie cut or curly perm is the perfect thing which can be combined with a blue rinse or bolder hues. It is not the only option anymore! The important things is to know that anything goes these days. What I would suggest is consider:-
- Your lifestyle and budget – be appropriate for your workplace? do you want something high maintenance or maintenance free?
- Hair assessment – what is your hair actually like – straight, curly, thick, thin or thinning, natural colour & stage of greying process
- The shape of your face and your overall silhouette – choose a style that doesn’t drag your face down or hide your features but frames your face and accentuates your best features
- Consider the actual condition your hair is in and what you can do to improve it if needed
- Colouring – ensure your hair colour compliments your skin colouring and isn’t too harsh or jarring
- How your hair fits in with your own particular style
- What makes YOU feel good – if it’s a particular hair colour try it / maybe you aren’t ready to be grey yet
- There is no right or wrong with hair as you get older – experiment
- Forget about your age – that is just a number!
What are your thoughts on hair as you get older? – Do comment below and share with your friends and family
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Thanks for your encouraging post. I’m in the process of growing my grey out. I’ll be sixty in November. I’m just so tired of the roots!! I’m getting older, but that’s ok too. 🙂 I have big, wild wavey hair. I don’t know how I’ll look. I’ve always had a problem with aging. I’m trying to change. Sigh…
Beautifully put! Be who you are! I’m 55 and I let my natural hair gro out long and wild. I think it’s my favorite hair color and style yet!
I decided to go gray at 60 too…and don’t regret it at all! I was a red head and my stylist helped me to go a blonde/white shade so my roots would be be so noticeable. I have had it touched up once since then now after a year, I am going back to get rid of the blonde ends and add more white. In the beginning, because I also have long hair, I was surprised when my gray girl friend told me it would take three years! I’ve got a couple years left but I’m loving it!
I’ve been told that now that I am over 50 I should cut my hair very short. Sorry! I have medium length straight blonde hair, and I plan to grow it longer.
You are correct- age is just a number and I refuse to be bullied into cutting my hair, or wearing mature clothing, or even what color nail polish to wear. Apparently, purple is not appropriate for a woman of 52.
I appreciate your wisdom and great attitude toward aging. Thank you for an informative, interesting article.
I say do what makes you feel beautiful. I will never feel comfortable in short hair but some women do. I have let my hair finally go gray but it turned into a honey colored white which I am fine with. Since I feel the freedom of no more dyes, For the celebration of accepting my natural hair, for the holidays I went to a salon and had them put fairy hair in my hair which is light silver strands that are very sudtle yet shines. White hair especially looks beautiful with this and I have ptobably had 40 people stop me and admire or ask where I got it done.
I had a white streak at 40 (22 years ago). My agent at the time told me I could never get casted with that streak in my hair. Here it is years later and finally a new acceptance has emerged! Thank God for me and so many others that we can make a difference for so many that we can embrace it and be unique in our own shades of gray!! Celebrate!! Length gives our hair that dimension I would have never realized had I not taken that plunge!! What a blessing!! 🌷💐😘👌🏽👏🏽😎
Love this.in my forties..my was turning gray …I let it
.after years of coloring..
I’m 68..and have beautiful gray. And silver hair..I were it long. Always get compliments ..men have come up to me.and said.I wish..my wife..would let her hair go gray..and stop coloring it..good advice ..
.
Margaret.
I had long hair for 40 years or more, at 70 I had a bald patch and was persuaded to cut it. Now in my 80’s it is in better condition and seeing the lovely pictures of Daphne I am thinking about growing it again. I have always loved long hair.
I’m 68 and now have my natural colour after dying my hair for over50 years. Only one of my friends said she prefers me blonde. It took me 12 months to grow out my blonde, but it was relatively easy as my roots were grey/silver, so I think it was the right time.
I am pleased to read your comments and find your views on style
inspirational.
Creeping up on my sixtieth year, still working full time as a foster mother and legal translator, I feel my life changing with your wonderful guidance. I still have long blonde hair, which I am planning to leave to go totally natural – and wear long because I prefer it that way. I am not tall or terribly slim, but have always loved my clothes. A few years ago I got unceremoniously dumped by someone I was very fond of, and I found out later that it was because they were afraid that my clothing would be embarrassing at their wedding. This was followed by my ‘dowdy mouse’ phase. Since discovering you I am breaking out! I have discovered steampunk and love it – so am quietly changing my look (which my French foster kids really appreciate) and am learning that ageing can be fun and creative – bless you for being so lovely and such an inspiration!
Rowena, sounds like you are on track to #beyourownselfe which is great news. Thank you for your kind comments and here’s to having fun and being creative.
I’m 71 and will not color my long gray hair! I get lots of compliments too😃
I’m 53 , can sit on my hair and, shock horror, have a fringe…I’m fed up with women asking with a curled lip, if I’m ever going to get it cut, like it’s mandatory for a woman of a “certain age”.
In a clichéd nutshell, I think they are jealous. I have always had lots of attention (some unwanted) because of my long wavy hair. Conversely, my male friends are always pro-long, funny that. I am convinced that some women feel threatened by long hair and assume that I’m some sort of man-eater.
I’ve lightened it for 26 years, but a peek underneath reveals my naturally brown hair, that’s becoming greyer by the day. Once the grey starts taking over, that’s it…I’m going naturelle!
I’ll be taking a leaf out of your book Daphne, elegance personified. You are beautiful and an inspiration for women of all ages.
Dear Daphne and all,
I am a grateful 50 years old: a mother of my preteen daughter and volunteer worker. As a longterm vegan/ over two decades now/ I consider my most important volunteer position the vegan education I provide to others. Teaching people about the fact that we absolutely do not need to use animals to have a healthy and enjoyable life. As an abolitionist vegan I also stand up against all other forms of injustice, besides speciesism, such as racism, sexism, elitism , and, of course, ageism, and more. Ageism is an unfair discrimination based on arbitrary criteria/chronological age/ ignoring individual differences. We all have the same moral value regardless of our chronological age.
I gifted myself after my 50th birthday this year with a spunky, pixie haircut,.I had my almost waist length, botanically colored, thick hair cut off in order to start fresh and real. Now I am sporting a shiny, silver mane which I intend to grow out again at least down to my waist!!
Shine on, ladies, thank you for setting an example of authenticity to the world which needs to see it!
Daphne, you are absolutely inspirational. I happened upon your photos and you have completely encouraged me to do even more to take care of myself. I am 63 and stopped coloring my hair about 10 years ago. I’ve been blessed in the way it is graying and get many compliments on it, but I am sad to say it’s much thinner and doesn’t grow as quickly as it used to. I’ve had a lot of stress in the past 8 years do to a job, so I’m wondering if you have any suggestions for that.
Thank you for showing that age really is just a number and we can be as healthy, active, and as beautiful as we want to be.
Kindest regards,
Marianne
Dear Marianne,
I’m so sorry who have had a lot of stress with your job. Can you change your job? Sometimes we have stressful chapters in life and all we can do is take as much care of ourselves as we can. Good food, exercise, friends and sleep will help along with firmly focussing on all the things in your life that you are grateful for. I’m glad you are enjoying your hair and getting lots of compliments. My hair is thinner than it was too!
Best wishes Daphne
I LOVE everything you said and its great. I feel my hair changing daily. I dont wash daily and try to treat it with tender loving care as well as my body and health. I am not ready to go grey yet, yet it looks awesome on alot of people. I am coloring red. You are right its only a # and you look so beautiful and sexy in all your pics. You are a beautiful woman.
Thanks
You are an inspiration! Thank you! I will turn 62 next week and have been embracing my natural colors now that a 21/2 year grow up has left me with an assorted variety of white, silver and gray. I grew my hair down to my waist during the grow out (I haven’t had short hair since my late 20’s), and last month made the cut to mid back to remove the blonde, just a little left to transition out and the transformation will be complete. Blessed with a full head of hair, I get so many compliments on my hair, my crowning glory. At 5’9, with flowing hair… each day into seniorhood is a new adventure, and I am loving it! Wishing you continued success in all that you do! And again ‘thank you’ for leading the charge to embrace our natural beauty!
Hi Daphne, i too came across ur photo on the web. Im 64 started coloring at 37. When i turned 50 left it grow out. Its thinnnig also. Hormones is the reason. My hair is past my shoulders layered cuz it is natural curly. I fill in my hair with natural powder. Im blest i get lots of compliments on how beautiful it is. I wish i had my thick hair back. Maybe someday i will. I think u a beautiful lady. So happy i came across ur site. Take care and God Bless.
How bout never it’s my hair I’ll grow it however damn long I want
I did the same. Ive recently let the grey show and Im proud of it.ive earned it all these years.lolxx
I’ve leaving my hair gray and long. No more dyed .no more retouch every 3 weeks. Im feel free an beautyful .im 58 i embrace my age . Thank you for your inspiring words.
I was at the hairdressers a few weeks ago having my hair styled for my grandson’s wedding. It is thick temperamental strong in the salt a pepper shades of a seventy year old woman. It is the worry of my life but as I sat there the younger lass in the chair next to me leaned over and said” I am spending a fortune trying to get my hair the same colour as yours. It is a beautiful colour. I want my hair to be as yours is.’ My reply “Give it time and it will be!”
Dear Daphne, Interesting article. I think gray and white hair is sophisticated and down right stunning when properly taken care of and have never understood the reluctance many women have to embrace that change. On the other hand, I am 64 and started losing my hair to alopecia just after menopause which has immediately put another 10 years on my appearance. It’s not pretty or sophisticated – in fact it is downright depressing and not easy to accept and as I am learning more widespread than is known. In my zest to find comfort I peruse blogs such as yours and am happy to see many women gracefully embracing the changes aging brings to their physical appearance, but I would love to see more articles written about the plight of women who are losing their once precious locks. It’s true now there are more options than ever with alternative hair, but nothing is like having it grow naturally out of your own scalp. I would give anything to have a head of hair that could go gray…………sigh. I say, love your hair while you have it no matter what the color.
Lovely piece to read. I’m 54 and have always had long hair, a few occasional bobs. a couple of years ago I found my hair getting thinner and after dyeing it much would fall out so I decided to stop. It’s taken a long while for the existing dye to grow out but is definitely thicker and softer. I feel more comfortable about my greying hair, although my partner did remark at one stage that I looked like I had a baseball cap on, ‘that sort of thing always boosts your confidence’ 🙂 I too wear my hair up and always have done, I do let it down if I can be bothered to straighten it but try to avoid doing this too much. Now if only I could accept the ever advancing wrinkles, poorer eyesight seems to help. But I still find that I have a few long facial hairs that seems to appear overnight and can you shift the blighters with your fingers…no chance. I’m lucky that I have a few friends of similar age and we can share and laugh at similar problems.
Dear Julie,
Thank you for writing. Hair thinning is annoying and I’m glad you’ve got yours thicker and softer now. Do you have to straighten your hair? Well done on getting past the growing out phase which is always hard with or without the added (morale boosting) comments!
The overnight facial hairs are a problem – keep a set of tweezers by the mirror.
Keep laughing with your friends at our dilemmas!
Best wishes Daphne